Washington, DC - Today President Trump announced plans to appoint President Trump to the position of United States Attorney General. The move comes amid mounting controversy over acting Attorney General Mathew Whitaker's appointment and a sense of urgency in replacing him.
The President feels that there is no one better to fill the position in light of his "many wins" over the past two years and his willingness to "bitch slap" Robert Mueller. When asked by CNN correspondent Jim Acosta how this move could be legal, the President threw Jeff Sessions at him while screaming "I'm the new sheriff in town Bitch."
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